"I love you" seems not enough to say how much I love you and everyday as I see you grow better and better, I grow more in love with you. Shucks, it has already been 6 years and I'm still having that "kilig" for you, ackkk! It's you, the woman who is destined to strike pure love again to my heart.
There's no one else in this world who I can share the thrill of having a cup of coffee with,
to be with in a cloudy morning, eating at mcdo and watching my side how nostalgic the droplets of water on the window are,
how we enjoy excellent cinemas and watching great movies together,
how I can be myself around you without explaining,
how I enjoy doing all the things I love with you, the one I love.
You are beautiful from the inside out, and I appreciate it so much. God has made you clean, and you look brand new, amazing :) That gentle smile, that twisted personality, that frizzy hair, I love you just the way you are.
God has placed that feeling, that excitement again in my heart for you, and I enjoy every minute of it. We've matured a lot, and I see myself two years ago and somehow I feel different. I can appreciate more, I can talk more, I can decide, I'm eager to learn new stuff, I'm not uptight, I do not optimize everything, blah blah blah... It's you my Lord who made all these possible, I'm so in love with you and looking forward to growing more with You, my God.
May we grow more and more in love with God, and just find peace in Him.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Songs
Wrote three songs in the office, I want the album to have a story. So many ideas, more songs to be written, and melodies to be played. The story is not finished yet. When I said to one of my batchmates in the office, 'Let's form a band', I play the keyboards, he plays the strings, she too play the strings hehehe, and good on vocals too. La pa kami drummer though hehe. Someday we will play and have brewed coffee. Even though it's just for fun, it will be something fulfilling. I'm trying out new things to learn more about passion.
Anyway, here are the songs I wrote, they need a lot of improvement though, but how I started blogging so I can improve on my writing skills, I'll also start writing songs. This will give me more room for improvement and let me express myself in a different way. This is the first time I'll wrote songs so please be forgiving ;)
Bonus Track - Driving Home
Posted September 19, 2007
Time has passed me by
Keeps me asking why
Inching through life day by day
Dreaming that tomorrow will be okay
Thought I’ve Forgotten
The life I was living
Crying while driving away
Hoping that tomorrow will be okay
I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
Lost myself in this road
Tired, alone and feeling cold
Forcing myself to hate you
But this is not what I want to do
That’s why I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
bridge:
Pressing hard on the breaks
Making a turn at the nearest
No matter what I think or say
Tomorrow will not be okay
(As long as I’m not with you - backup voice haha!)
I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
Coz loving you is what I want to do
My Song for God, bonus track kagad hehe. Dedicated to the backsliding community.
------------------------
Track 02 - Unsure
Posted September 14, 2007
What if we’re really never meant to be
What if this is the part we didn’t see
Maybe it’s all part of the plan
Forever sinking in the sand
What if we don’t hear the angels singing
What if this is not our happy ending
With all of these uncertainties
I’m like trapped in a bad series
I feel like giving up, giving in
To the enemy that’s never seen
Pushing away everyone
Now I have noone
God, I’m so lost!
Is this the time to move?
Tell me, do I need to move?
Is this the time to wait?
Sit, stay calm, and forget?
I feel like giving up, giving in
To the enemy that’s never seen
Pushing away everyone
Now I have noone, there must be someOne
I’m writing this song for the confusion during our lost moments
------------------
Track 01 - Awakening
Posted September 13, 2007
Are you there?
Can you hear me?
Do you know who I am?
Have you stopped thinking too much?
Wake-up, Wake-up, please Wake-up.
Are you back?
Can you see me?
Do you live to see the sunshine?
Have you forgiven yourself?
Wake-up, Wake-up, please Wake-up.
No more crying!
No more regrets!
No more shortcuts!
No more bitterness!
You say you know!
You say you know!
But why, why are you still like that?
When will you move?
This song is for you when you left me, bad song, need revamp
Anyway, here are the songs I wrote, they need a lot of improvement though, but how I started blogging so I can improve on my writing skills, I'll also start writing songs. This will give me more room for improvement and let me express myself in a different way. This is the first time I'll wrote songs so please be forgiving ;)
Bonus Track - Driving Home
Posted September 19, 2007
Time has passed me by
Keeps me asking why
Inching through life day by day
Dreaming that tomorrow will be okay
Thought I’ve Forgotten
The life I was living
Crying while driving away
Hoping that tomorrow will be okay
I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
Lost myself in this road
Tired, alone and feeling cold
Forcing myself to hate you
But this is not what I want to do
That’s why I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
bridge:
Pressing hard on the breaks
Making a turn at the nearest
No matter what I think or say
Tomorrow will not be okay
(As long as I’m not with you - backup voice haha!)
I’m driving home to you
I’m gonna bring roses along
I’m driving back home,
Coz loving you is what I want to do
Coz loving you is what I want to do
My Song for God, bonus track kagad hehe. Dedicated to the backsliding community.
------------------------
Track 02 - Unsure
Posted September 14, 2007
What if we’re really never meant to be
What if this is the part we didn’t see
Maybe it’s all part of the plan
Forever sinking in the sand
What if we don’t hear the angels singing
What if this is not our happy ending
With all of these uncertainties
I’m like trapped in a bad series
I feel like giving up, giving in
To the enemy that’s never seen
Pushing away everyone
Now I have noone
God, I’m so lost!
Is this the time to move?
Tell me, do I need to move?
Is this the time to wait?
Sit, stay calm, and forget?
I feel like giving up, giving in
To the enemy that’s never seen
Pushing away everyone
Now I have noone, there must be someOne
I’m writing this song for the confusion during our lost moments
------------------
Track 01 - Awakening
Posted September 13, 2007
Are you there?
Can you hear me?
Do you know who I am?
Have you stopped thinking too much?
Wake-up, Wake-up, please Wake-up.
Are you back?
Can you see me?
Do you live to see the sunshine?
Have you forgiven yourself?
Wake-up, Wake-up, please Wake-up.
No more crying!
No more regrets!
No more shortcuts!
No more bitterness!
You say you know!
You say you know!
But why, why are you still like that?
When will you move?
This song is for you when you left me, bad song, need revamp
The Beginning
We are getting our lives straightened out, ironing out the curls, pruning the vines, walking the talk and stuff like that. This is just the beginning, I still got a big future ahead of me but I won't let it eat me again, like I won't let Manila eat me alive again. I've been inside the stomach of the enemy, and just when I'm in the brink of being digested and being molded into something yucky, I got my sword and use it to rip open the churning cage I was into.
Rather than the enemy taking over me, I will exercise my God-given authority to cast it away. I've been receiving many attacks lately, and I know I'm not the only one, even she's getting attacks too. We are laughing at the enemy and casting it away, it is all clear now, when we are with God, it's easy to filter what's right and what's not. But we are not taking this lightly because the enemy knows our weaknesses. The least I can do now is offer my life to God, may I be a pleasing sacrifice. I'm living a life with a desire to please God above anyone else.
On the side note, I had a very nice conversation with my mom. I'm amazed by what God is doing in her life, the revelations and the wisdom that He has given. How God has been so good because I thought she'd be paralyzed for life. She told me how she remembered me reading the bible for her, something she didn't get serious of until read verses while she was hanging on to her life. I'm encouraged how I'm having biblical conversations with my mother, and I'm amazed, shocked even that her wisdom is on the right track, she was talking about some principles in life and I ask her, Mama, did you read that somewhere in the bible (Knowing inside that there are verses that teach the same thing), and she said that she haven't read that part yet. She's telling me her accounts, her normal day to day life but to me they're testimonies of what God has done in her life. She told me that she stopped the party when she saw some of her friends doing dirty dancing (haha!), she told me about fleeing from temptation even though she haven't read it yet in the bible, she advised a married man to leave his mistress, and dig this, she had a talk with Che che lazaro, made che che realize that her faith is not sufficient. She's helping the poor, sometimes even preaching to the kids about God. Ang galing!
She told me when I read the bible to her during the night in the hospital on her third stroke, she had a revelation and a vision, and this changed her life forever. For me, these (healing and drawing near to God) are already miracles and I'm thankful and in awe of God's grace. This is another side note which is longer than the actual blog entry wehehe.
Rather than the enemy taking over me, I will exercise my God-given authority to cast it away. I've been receiving many attacks lately, and I know I'm not the only one, even she's getting attacks too. We are laughing at the enemy and casting it away, it is all clear now, when we are with God, it's easy to filter what's right and what's not. But we are not taking this lightly because the enemy knows our weaknesses. The least I can do now is offer my life to God, may I be a pleasing sacrifice. I'm living a life with a desire to please God above anyone else.
On the side note, I had a very nice conversation with my mom. I'm amazed by what God is doing in her life, the revelations and the wisdom that He has given. How God has been so good because I thought she'd be paralyzed for life. She told me how she remembered me reading the bible for her, something she didn't get serious of until read verses while she was hanging on to her life. I'm encouraged how I'm having biblical conversations with my mother, and I'm amazed, shocked even that her wisdom is on the right track, she was talking about some principles in life and I ask her, Mama, did you read that somewhere in the bible (Knowing inside that there are verses that teach the same thing), and she said that she haven't read that part yet. She's telling me her accounts, her normal day to day life but to me they're testimonies of what God has done in her life. She told me that she stopped the party when she saw some of her friends doing dirty dancing (haha!), she told me about fleeing from temptation even though she haven't read it yet in the bible, she advised a married man to leave his mistress, and dig this, she had a talk with Che che lazaro, made che che realize that her faith is not sufficient. She's helping the poor, sometimes even preaching to the kids about God. Ang galing!
She told me when I read the bible to her during the night in the hospital on her third stroke, she had a revelation and a vision, and this changed her life forever. For me, these (healing and drawing near to God) are already miracles and I'm thankful and in awe of God's grace. This is another side note which is longer than the actual blog entry wehehe.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
The Greatest One-Day Love Story Ever Written
2:59pm today, I sit here in philcoa internet shop. What happened? A lot of things happened and it was so fast. When God tells us to do something, and we cannot comprehend why or how we would do that. DO IT and God will reveal the rest.
I said I had a revelation this 3:30 at dawn (see previous entry). God told me to do something I thought I wouldn’t do now or even at a sooner later in my life.
I never had a closure last night, she ended up telling me that she still hoped for our happy ending but she’s staying with the guy. That’s outrageous! I thought to myself, that's not letting go! But the revelation was not yet there because I was so full of my convictions.
The revelation this dawn told me that I need a proper closure. He had prepared me for this, but Lord! I've already surrendered her to you. And it hit me... Exactly, now that I have the faith to give her up to God, it is time to take her back and fight for her. This is the time to move, not move on. I asked, Lord! How is this different from the first time when I tried to fight for her, and he said to me, Today you are with me.
My faith is in you my God and I may not understand why now but I'm going to do it. Please make it perfect.
I went to her, but she was still taking a bath so I went to claret chapel for a while to be refreshed on God's word but of course I'm vigilant to filter the preaching. She decided to go to claret too. The word was great, it talked about those who exalts himself will be humbled and those who are humble will be exalted. I said to God, today no pride will come out of my mouth.
I smirked when I heard about mama mary and she noticed it and said, I miss that smirk...
After d sermon, she asked me for some coffee to match the three krispy kreme donuts I brought. There's no coffee near there house so I said let's go to mcdo. We had some small talks while we eat donuts and drink brewed coffee while listening to terrible music playlist of mcdo.
After the small talks, I knew I had to say what I needed to say so I talked to God... Lord, this is it! And when I was about to say it, the music, out of the blue, suddenly turned into a love song, Torete! Hahaha! Lord, ang galing mo naman! We both smiled and I said every word that God wanted me to say (see previous entry). After that she told me a story, how she secretly cried and learned to cry without tears, that she texts me everytime in secret and send it to her housemate instead of sending it to me.
And love songs after love songs played, and I watch her eyes cry in tears and I cried too and we both laughed mildly. Then I shared many revelations during the past month, and I laid down my plans for her and she was smiling perfectly as how God said it to me.
I asked God, Lord, still no closure? She didn't even say yes or no. So I asked her for the second time, and she told me another story...
How she prays to God to give her the promised one, and she said that I'm the promised one. I said to her For the first time, I pursued you. Hindi mo ako naunahan. She talked how she hated herself for getting ahead of me, for not waiting, for going with another guy and I comforted her.
Lord, wala parin sya sagot... So I asked her for the third time, Let go of him and do not worry nor have any regret, I'll fight for you and I'll be there for you. I will lead you, yes, something i've never done in my life, I'll lead you and share the purpose with you for God and we cried even more, but we don't care even if we were amidst the crowd who were having breakfast at mcdo. We clearly heard in one table that they were talking about hopeless romantics, and there were lots of ideas, and I think they were talking about us too. We smiled and said, 'yeah, we are hopeless romantic freaks' and again we laughed mildly as tears gush down our face.
For the fourth time, God give me a sign. I asked her again, (name), for the fourth time i'll ask you again. What is your answer? and she told me that she always imagined me pursuing her. And I asked, is that a Yes? All the surprises in the world combined is no match how surprised I was when she nodded and I was like, WooooooooooW God! You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
We cried another bucket, and catch up with some stuff, and exchanged corny lines. As in, very corny lines, don't ask. We laughed and suddenly a storm came... it was him, her you know what. We didn't notice that it was already 12nn and her EX-bf is calling her coz she was supposed to be in glorietta with him. And he's coming, and I trembled but I have faith in God and I still won't lay a scratch on this guy unless he hurt my love.
With every second that passed, my heart beat faster and faster and I'm talking to God and preparing myself to get hit for the first time if ever.
...Wait, stop the flashback, just now she texted, 'san kaw? Pls pick me up'
...I'm back to the internet shop because she didn't say where she is, men! Nway, continue blogging... Where was i...
Ah yeah, he was comming! And she decided to stay with me but she needed to wiwi, and Mcdo's cr was out of service, chowking 's cr was being cleaned... Lord! Reveal it to me! That cr that is. So I told her, 'kaya mo pa ihold?'... ok wait, you might wonder, why include this detail? It's important, you'll see. Anyway, I said 'magpaphotocopy muna tayo and head to your dorm' and we went to the photocopy/internet shop, where I am now, writing this blog using my cellphone.
And I was like wow, ang galing may CR sa net shop, thank God! And she went wiwi and just as she entered the cr, guess who came? Yes he, the big show with eyes burning with murderous intent when he saw me. He said in a loud annoying voice, BAKIT KA NANDITO? NASAN SI (name)?! and I calmly replied, nasa CR....
He knocked and kicked the CR, which costed me 500 bucks because he broke it. You owe me 500, you monster who doesn't know how to enter a CR, kaya nga may susi eh. It made a scene and everyone stopped talking and there was silence. He shouted, BAKIT ANTAGAL NYA? KANINA PA SYA NASA LOOB AH! and it was just like 10 seconds had passed and I calmly replied in a condescending voice, Hello?! Kaka CR lang nya. and the owner (ate tens, close na kami) said, oo nga kakapasok lang nya while she calls for backup because she was scared. The guy grew impatient and went to where I standing and shouted again, BAKIT KA ANDITO, BAKIT KASAMA MO SYA? and I replied, hindi ka na nya mahal, let go of her and he replied with contempt, IKAW ANG HINDI NYA MAHAL and I thought to myself, isip bata ba to? parang nakikipag kompetisyon ah and I told him, edi itanong mo sa kanya! Hahaha! In your face, kido!
He wrecked the door and she opened it and went it, and they were there and I quickly said, ATE!! SUSE!!! Akina Suse!! And ate is getting more and more afraid so he instructed the big guys to get them out of the CR, and the guy went out dragging her with him, hurting her and grabbing her arms, and I raised my tone and I grabbed and removed his arm from hers and said, Bro, don't hurt her, if you want to talk, ask her nicely. And he grabbed the important papers the (name) needs for review so that she will be forced to come with him, and I really had to say it to him BRO! PARA KA NAMANG BATA! Ibalik mo nga yang mga yan, hindi sa kanya yan! and I think he realized it and returned the papers.
I thought he was just like going outside to talk so I sneaked in and followed them covertly then I saw him again dragging her and I saw that they were going to ride a cab, oh crap! with much adrenaline, I ran faster than ever and I was able to stop the door of the taxi and told that guy, DON'T HURT HER! and I let them go because I want to give that guy his right to talk to her.
And now I wait here, where the confrontation happened. I feel so helpless, I tried to search UP for them but I didn't find them. All I can do is pray and have faith in God that she won't be hurt. And I texted our friends to pray in faith with me.
After waiting five excruciating hours in the internet shop she texted that she's not hurt but to come for her and bring a guard because he's holding a KNIFE. Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Monster FREAK! So I quickly said to ate, Ate, emergency, my friend is in danger, do you know where (name of the place) is? and she googled it and we called the realtor but we didn't get any information so I just said, I'll ask the taxi driver to take me there. So I hurriedly got a cab and went to the place, and I told the driver what's happening and I need to get there as fast as I can, and manong was like so ready and became like james bond and he was so into it, with the drama, suspense and excitement! But the driver didn't know where the place is so we had to ask so many people including MMDA haha, but no one knew where it is!!!! Then we went to some tricylce cab drivers and he told me to run to that other side and ask them, finally! A concrete direction! And i hastily went back to the cab and told him where to go.
When we reached the subdivision, I ask the guard in panic, Manong guard! We need help, my friend is in danger, may balisong daw yung lalake and the guard was calm and went in circles thinking, COME ON!!! I thought to myself, and what's worse is his reply. Ummm, kaano ano nyo po ba sya? and I said kaibigan po! And he said, you can't go inside, this is our homeowners association, and I wanted to crush them for having no sense of urgency.
Manong driver told me, hindi tayo papasukin, kuha tayo police, and I was like talaga? papasukin tayo pag may polis? So we went outside again and saw the persons we needed the most that time, and dig this, they were not the police, they were the AFP! Oh yeah, three of them with big RIFLES and all, and I thought to myself, grabe tamang tama to, I think matatakot na sya sa mga to. These men are way cooler than the police.
And I told the emergency and they were like so into it to! They were preparing their guns, and moving to the driver seat, and told me, sige tara! Saan ba to and I told them where it is, and I went inside their hum-vee. Just as the driver is ready to go, she texted, palabas na ko and I was like, what? Sayang naman tong mga AFP, hehehe, but I explained to them that I think the situation was already under control.
So I got another cab to fetch her, and told big, old, and white-haired manong that it's an emergency and he asked what kind of emergency, my friend is in danger and her bf has a knife, and manong said Ay baka mapahamak pa ko dyan hahahaha! But I explained to him that everything's ok, so we went and saw her walking outside the subdivision. The guy's family came because the guard talked to them (they were not so bad after all).
She cried a lot when we were riding the cab, and asked me to take her to a pastor in ubelt, so we went there and learned that he already went home. So we went to galleria to have dinner with our close friends.
That monster freak is not worth it, during my 5 hours stay in the internet shop talking to the owner, she mentioned to me his future wife will be unlucky, sad and battered, because if this is the way he acts now, how much more after marriage. And replied yeah, and thought, it's good that it's not my love who will be trapped in his monstrosity.
We just had a real picture how ugly a non-christian relationship is... he makes me sick. May this teach us a valuable lesson, and I believe that this happened for a reason, to reach that brokeness because God wants us to really learn something from it and not just say 'I know'.
Mark this day as the day that she got saved from a monster freak. An unbeliever who threatened her with a knife and ready to commit suicide.
I am moved by what happened today, this by far is the most exciting day that God has given to me, and He made scenes which I thought I only existed in the movies. I love you God, thank you for delivering her from harm and I can enjoy new moments with her. I love her so much, and I won't realize it if I didn't follow what you said to me.
With what happened today, I don't know how in the world I've managed to pull everything off. It's beyond my wildest dreams. It's just God and a faith that can move mountains. Wohooo! Again I thank you for giving me movie-like experience, You're amazing.
So it's US again and I will love you more than I've ever loved you. The things that happened made us closer to each other. We're both surprised how things turned out, I didn't even plan for this... I only had Case One and Case Two and that was it, I never thought there was this Case Three!!! Amazing, I thought I knew everything but still You surprised me with all of these. I love it!!! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to move by faith.
...but I'm asking God, did I break my convictions? If someone knows the answer, kindly text me, I believe God will use you.
I said I had a revelation this 3:30 at dawn (see previous entry). God told me to do something I thought I wouldn’t do now or even at a sooner later in my life.
I never had a closure last night, she ended up telling me that she still hoped for our happy ending but she’s staying with the guy. That’s outrageous! I thought to myself, that's not letting go! But the revelation was not yet there because I was so full of my convictions.
The revelation this dawn told me that I need a proper closure. He had prepared me for this, but Lord! I've already surrendered her to you. And it hit me... Exactly, now that I have the faith to give her up to God, it is time to take her back and fight for her. This is the time to move, not move on. I asked, Lord! How is this different from the first time when I tried to fight for her, and he said to me, Today you are with me.
My faith is in you my God and I may not understand why now but I'm going to do it. Please make it perfect.
I went to her, but she was still taking a bath so I went to claret chapel for a while to be refreshed on God's word but of course I'm vigilant to filter the preaching. She decided to go to claret too. The word was great, it talked about those who exalts himself will be humbled and those who are humble will be exalted. I said to God, today no pride will come out of my mouth.
I smirked when I heard about mama mary and she noticed it and said, I miss that smirk...
After d sermon, she asked me for some coffee to match the three krispy kreme donuts I brought. There's no coffee near there house so I said let's go to mcdo. We had some small talks while we eat donuts and drink brewed coffee while listening to terrible music playlist of mcdo.
After the small talks, I knew I had to say what I needed to say so I talked to God... Lord, this is it! And when I was about to say it, the music, out of the blue, suddenly turned into a love song, Torete! Hahaha! Lord, ang galing mo naman! We both smiled and I said every word that God wanted me to say (see previous entry). After that she told me a story, how she secretly cried and learned to cry without tears, that she texts me everytime in secret and send it to her housemate instead of sending it to me.
And love songs after love songs played, and I watch her eyes cry in tears and I cried too and we both laughed mildly. Then I shared many revelations during the past month, and I laid down my plans for her and she was smiling perfectly as how God said it to me.
I asked God, Lord, still no closure? She didn't even say yes or no. So I asked her for the second time, and she told me another story...
How she prays to God to give her the promised one, and she said that I'm the promised one. I said to her For the first time, I pursued you. Hindi mo ako naunahan. She talked how she hated herself for getting ahead of me, for not waiting, for going with another guy and I comforted her.
Lord, wala parin sya sagot... So I asked her for the third time, Let go of him and do not worry nor have any regret, I'll fight for you and I'll be there for you. I will lead you, yes, something i've never done in my life, I'll lead you and share the purpose with you for God and we cried even more, but we don't care even if we were amidst the crowd who were having breakfast at mcdo. We clearly heard in one table that they were talking about hopeless romantics, and there were lots of ideas, and I think they were talking about us too. We smiled and said, 'yeah, we are hopeless romantic freaks' and again we laughed mildly as tears gush down our face.
For the fourth time, God give me a sign. I asked her again, (name), for the fourth time i'll ask you again. What is your answer? and she told me that she always imagined me pursuing her. And I asked, is that a Yes? All the surprises in the world combined is no match how surprised I was when she nodded and I was like, WooooooooooW God! You are the best thing that ever happened to me.
We cried another bucket, and catch up with some stuff, and exchanged corny lines. As in, very corny lines, don't ask. We laughed and suddenly a storm came... it was him, her you know what. We didn't notice that it was already 12nn and her EX-bf is calling her coz she was supposed to be in glorietta with him. And he's coming, and I trembled but I have faith in God and I still won't lay a scratch on this guy unless he hurt my love.
With every second that passed, my heart beat faster and faster and I'm talking to God and preparing myself to get hit for the first time if ever.
...Wait, stop the flashback, just now she texted, 'san kaw? Pls pick me up'
...I'm back to the internet shop because she didn't say where she is, men! Nway, continue blogging... Where was i...
Ah yeah, he was comming! And she decided to stay with me but she needed to wiwi, and Mcdo's cr was out of service, chowking 's cr was being cleaned... Lord! Reveal it to me! That cr that is. So I told her, 'kaya mo pa ihold?'... ok wait, you might wonder, why include this detail? It's important, you'll see. Anyway, I said 'magpaphotocopy muna tayo and head to your dorm' and we went to the photocopy/internet shop, where I am now, writing this blog using my cellphone.
And I was like wow, ang galing may CR sa net shop, thank God! And she went wiwi and just as she entered the cr, guess who came? Yes he, the big show with eyes burning with murderous intent when he saw me. He said in a loud annoying voice, BAKIT KA NANDITO? NASAN SI (name)?! and I calmly replied, nasa CR....
He knocked and kicked the CR, which costed me 500 bucks because he broke it. You owe me 500, you monster who doesn't know how to enter a CR, kaya nga may susi eh. It made a scene and everyone stopped talking and there was silence. He shouted, BAKIT ANTAGAL NYA? KANINA PA SYA NASA LOOB AH! and it was just like 10 seconds had passed and I calmly replied in a condescending voice, Hello?! Kaka CR lang nya. and the owner (ate tens, close na kami) said, oo nga kakapasok lang nya while she calls for backup because she was scared. The guy grew impatient and went to where I standing and shouted again, BAKIT KA ANDITO, BAKIT KASAMA MO SYA? and I replied, hindi ka na nya mahal, let go of her and he replied with contempt, IKAW ANG HINDI NYA MAHAL and I thought to myself, isip bata ba to? parang nakikipag kompetisyon ah and I told him, edi itanong mo sa kanya! Hahaha! In your face, kido!
He wrecked the door and she opened it and went it, and they were there and I quickly said, ATE!! SUSE!!! Akina Suse!! And ate is getting more and more afraid so he instructed the big guys to get them out of the CR, and the guy went out dragging her with him, hurting her and grabbing her arms, and I raised my tone and I grabbed and removed his arm from hers and said, Bro, don't hurt her, if you want to talk, ask her nicely. And he grabbed the important papers the (name) needs for review so that she will be forced to come with him, and I really had to say it to him BRO! PARA KA NAMANG BATA! Ibalik mo nga yang mga yan, hindi sa kanya yan! and I think he realized it and returned the papers.
I thought he was just like going outside to talk so I sneaked in and followed them covertly then I saw him again dragging her and I saw that they were going to ride a cab, oh crap! with much adrenaline, I ran faster than ever and I was able to stop the door of the taxi and told that guy, DON'T HURT HER! and I let them go because I want to give that guy his right to talk to her.
And now I wait here, where the confrontation happened. I feel so helpless, I tried to search UP for them but I didn't find them. All I can do is pray and have faith in God that she won't be hurt. And I texted our friends to pray in faith with me.
After waiting five excruciating hours in the internet shop she texted that she's not hurt but to come for her and bring a guard because he's holding a KNIFE. Huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Monster FREAK! So I quickly said to ate, Ate, emergency, my friend is in danger, do you know where (name of the place) is? and she googled it and we called the realtor but we didn't get any information so I just said, I'll ask the taxi driver to take me there. So I hurriedly got a cab and went to the place, and I told the driver what's happening and I need to get there as fast as I can, and manong was like so ready and became like james bond and he was so into it, with the drama, suspense and excitement! But the driver didn't know where the place is so we had to ask so many people including MMDA haha, but no one knew where it is!!!! Then we went to some tricylce cab drivers and he told me to run to that other side and ask them, finally! A concrete direction! And i hastily went back to the cab and told him where to go.
When we reached the subdivision, I ask the guard in panic, Manong guard! We need help, my friend is in danger, may balisong daw yung lalake and the guard was calm and went in circles thinking, COME ON!!! I thought to myself, and what's worse is his reply. Ummm, kaano ano nyo po ba sya? and I said kaibigan po! And he said, you can't go inside, this is our homeowners association, and I wanted to crush them for having no sense of urgency.
Manong driver told me, hindi tayo papasukin, kuha tayo police, and I was like talaga? papasukin tayo pag may polis? So we went outside again and saw the persons we needed the most that time, and dig this, they were not the police, they were the AFP! Oh yeah, three of them with big RIFLES and all, and I thought to myself, grabe tamang tama to, I think matatakot na sya sa mga to. These men are way cooler than the police.
And I told the emergency and they were like so into it to! They were preparing their guns, and moving to the driver seat, and told me, sige tara! Saan ba to and I told them where it is, and I went inside their hum-vee. Just as the driver is ready to go, she texted, palabas na ko and I was like, what? Sayang naman tong mga AFP, hehehe, but I explained to them that I think the situation was already under control.
So I got another cab to fetch her, and told big, old, and white-haired manong that it's an emergency and he asked what kind of emergency, my friend is in danger and her bf has a knife, and manong said Ay baka mapahamak pa ko dyan hahahaha! But I explained to him that everything's ok, so we went and saw her walking outside the subdivision. The guy's family came because the guard talked to them (they were not so bad after all).
She cried a lot when we were riding the cab, and asked me to take her to a pastor in ubelt, so we went there and learned that he already went home. So we went to galleria to have dinner with our close friends.
That monster freak is not worth it, during my 5 hours stay in the internet shop talking to the owner, she mentioned to me his future wife will be unlucky, sad and battered, because if this is the way he acts now, how much more after marriage. And replied yeah, and thought, it's good that it's not my love who will be trapped in his monstrosity.
We just had a real picture how ugly a non-christian relationship is... he makes me sick. May this teach us a valuable lesson, and I believe that this happened for a reason, to reach that brokeness because God wants us to really learn something from it and not just say 'I know'.
Mark this day as the day that she got saved from a monster freak. An unbeliever who threatened her with a knife and ready to commit suicide.
I am moved by what happened today, this by far is the most exciting day that God has given to me, and He made scenes which I thought I only existed in the movies. I love you God, thank you for delivering her from harm and I can enjoy new moments with her. I love her so much, and I won't realize it if I didn't follow what you said to me.
With what happened today, I don't know how in the world I've managed to pull everything off. It's beyond my wildest dreams. It's just God and a faith that can move mountains. Wohooo! Again I thank you for giving me movie-like experience, You're amazing.
So it's US again and I will love you more than I've ever loved you. The things that happened made us closer to each other. We're both surprised how things turned out, I didn't even plan for this... I only had Case One and Case Two and that was it, I never thought there was this Case Three!!! Amazing, I thought I knew everything but still You surprised me with all of these. I love it!!! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to move by faith.
...but I'm asking God, did I break my convictions? If someone knows the answer, kindly text me, I believe God will use you.
Epiphany
Ok, I just woke up 3:30AM and I can't sleep anymore. I kept thinking, Lord, why do I feel like I still haven't done something I was supposed to do but I still can. You know that feeling that you haven't done something wrong, but there is this thing you haven't done. The feeling is quite different. I don't feel regret, but I feel that God has given me this perfect timing and I just have follow and do it.
Ah yeah, I forgot that I bought some krispy kreme doughnuts for her. Actually, I didn't buy it for her in the first place, I want to eat it, but I realized that I bought 3 of them out of coincidence and it will be perfect gift but it slipped my mind last night and I haven't given her the donuts. Well beyond the donuts, there is something more, and I believe I have forgotten to give her those donuts for a reason.
Today, i need to tell her something, something I haven't told her for a long time because I was afraid of what she's going to say, but I have nothing left to lose and I have God and I don't want to wait for another week before I realize that I need to tell her this:
(name), I love you and you love me. That guy doesn't love you, well he loves you but he doesn't love you that much because he can't let you go! Please don't stay with him, he'll be okay just like me. Wait for me and I will pursue you, just let God mold us and straighten out our curls for a while. Let's start over and be friends again. You don't have to chase after me anymore, I want and I will pursue you and I'll be there for you and I'm not saying this because I want your favor, but this is what my heart desires.
This is the outburst of my heart now, and I need you my Lord to tell me if my heart is not deceiving me. Why now? I just realized that I really really need to tell her these things and I don't care anymore if she says yes or no, but no questions asked, no what if's, and maybe's but I just have to do this because you told me to my Lord. I guess it's destiny for me.
Ah yeah, I forgot that I bought some krispy kreme doughnuts for her. Actually, I didn't buy it for her in the first place, I want to eat it, but I realized that I bought 3 of them out of coincidence and it will be perfect gift but it slipped my mind last night and I haven't given her the donuts. Well beyond the donuts, there is something more, and I believe I have forgotten to give her those donuts for a reason.
Today, i need to tell her something, something I haven't told her for a long time because I was afraid of what she's going to say, but I have nothing left to lose and I have God and I don't want to wait for another week before I realize that I need to tell her this:
(name), I love you and you love me. That guy doesn't love you, well he loves you but he doesn't love you that much because he can't let you go! Please don't stay with him, he'll be okay just like me. Wait for me and I will pursue you, just let God mold us and straighten out our curls for a while. Let's start over and be friends again. You don't have to chase after me anymore, I want and I will pursue you and I'll be there for you and I'm not saying this because I want your favor, but this is what my heart desires.
This is the outburst of my heart now, and I need you my Lord to tell me if my heart is not deceiving me. Why now? I just realized that I really really need to tell her these things and I don't care anymore if she says yes or no, but no questions asked, no what if's, and maybe's but I just have to do this because you told me to my Lord. I guess it's destiny for me.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Broken Piece of Glass
You came here tonight saying sorry again. We talked a little but I'm quite disappointed by your convictions. I thought you've changed or you already woke up but I guess I was wrong.
Earlier this week, I said to one of my friends at the office that I'm expecting two cases. First case: She'll say sorry just to say sorry but she's still with that guy and I'll watch her walk away. Second case: She'll say sorry but she already broke up with her guy and woke up, and she'll wait for me. So I prepared some emo songs. Either way, it won't really matter coz I'm having so much fun with my singlehood with God. I already accepted any case because no matter what, I'll still be single afterwards but I know already in my heart that it will be Case One so I chose the best emo song for me for Case One.
When she came I saw her face, still sad, and I thought to myself oh when will you ever wake up. She talked to me and said sorry. That's it, she just want to say sorry... and she told me some stuff about what's happening in her life.
She said that she tried breaking up with that guy and he just wouldn't accept it, so she decided to stay with him because he will stop training if he loses her and she said she doesn't want to cause any more chaos. My heart was not shocked anymore, I said, oh well Lord, she still chose that path. I told her everything I wanted to say, without the crappy forgiveness hindrance. I said to her,
I noticed that I've been too forgiving and in the process I haven't said what I really wanted to say. I've always said that you'll be okay and be fair to your love for your guy but this night I want you to tell something. If it's just me, I want you off him, I want you to be single and realize that your attachments will not keep you alive. Let go of them.
You said you don't want to cause any more chaos, but is that principle YOUR GOD? Why do you limit yourself because of that thought? Do not hinder yourself by what you think, but do not stop thinking either! Let God handle things for you. You said you don't want to chase after me anymore, then don't! There's still singlehood, hello? Are you afraid? Why can't you let go, why....
And you said stop! and we smiled at each other knowing that you're still you. You keep asking God for a way out, for your bf to break you and all... sigh, remove all the feelings, what we had, everything that connects us, and just see you as myself as a Christian, I am disappointed.
Tonight I watched you walk away under a lamp post. I quickly grabbed my music player and fulfilled the vision which God has given me. I listened to The Blues by Switchfoot as I saw your back getting farther and farther away until it diminished into the darkness of night. I stood there under that yellow light while the stars watched me stare at her. I walked the opposite direction and smiled to God. Lord, thank you for ending another spectacular movie event of my life. Tinding moment yun ah, with matching serenity of the night, lamp post, yellow light, and background music. I just felt God's holy spirit embraced me and whispered 'I am enough' as I walked home refreshed.
I'm shocked that I'm not sad anymore, and I need an emo song just to get in the right mood. It's a little bit tiring to see you like that again and again. Tonight, I won't think if I still love you or not because you didn't even come close to bringing out that wow in me.
It's a deadlock for us, and it will be a surprise to us if destiny still brings us back together. For you, you don't want to chase after me but you cannot wait. For me, I just want you to wait and I cannot pursue you now, coz right now, I have nothing to offer but singlehood.
I'm free and I don't have to endure her missing me or loving me messages. Thank you my God for opening a way for a new beginning. Tonight I let go of the thought that we'll be us again someday. I'll wait for who God has destined for me... I hope she's eagerly waiting for me too.
Even though I'm free, nothing has changed for me tonight, I'm still single. My officemate is eagerly waiting to see me break my convictions and just say to her, leave him and be my girlfriend just to easily end all of it. But no, God is telling me that I won't be happy with that path and the same thing will happen again.
I love God and that's enough for me, and the world cannot take it away... not even her. Good night for a long time. Crap, now I really need to get her to say goodbye to ma.
Earlier this week, I said to one of my friends at the office that I'm expecting two cases. First case: She'll say sorry just to say sorry but she's still with that guy and I'll watch her walk away. Second case: She'll say sorry but she already broke up with her guy and woke up, and she'll wait for me. So I prepared some emo songs. Either way, it won't really matter coz I'm having so much fun with my singlehood with God. I already accepted any case because no matter what, I'll still be single afterwards but I know already in my heart that it will be Case One so I chose the best emo song for me for Case One.
When she came I saw her face, still sad, and I thought to myself oh when will you ever wake up. She talked to me and said sorry. That's it, she just want to say sorry... and she told me some stuff about what's happening in her life.
She said that she tried breaking up with that guy and he just wouldn't accept it, so she decided to stay with him because he will stop training if he loses her and she said she doesn't want to cause any more chaos. My heart was not shocked anymore, I said, oh well Lord, she still chose that path. I told her everything I wanted to say, without the crappy forgiveness hindrance. I said to her,
I noticed that I've been too forgiving and in the process I haven't said what I really wanted to say. I've always said that you'll be okay and be fair to your love for your guy but this night I want you to tell something. If it's just me, I want you off him, I want you to be single and realize that your attachments will not keep you alive. Let go of them.
You said you don't want to cause any more chaos, but is that principle YOUR GOD? Why do you limit yourself because of that thought? Do not hinder yourself by what you think, but do not stop thinking either! Let God handle things for you. You said you don't want to chase after me anymore, then don't! There's still singlehood, hello? Are you afraid? Why can't you let go, why....
And you said stop! and we smiled at each other knowing that you're still you. You keep asking God for a way out, for your bf to break you and all... sigh, remove all the feelings, what we had, everything that connects us, and just see you as myself as a Christian, I am disappointed.
Tonight I watched you walk away under a lamp post. I quickly grabbed my music player and fulfilled the vision which God has given me. I listened to The Blues by Switchfoot as I saw your back getting farther and farther away until it diminished into the darkness of night. I stood there under that yellow light while the stars watched me stare at her. I walked the opposite direction and smiled to God. Lord, thank you for ending another spectacular movie event of my life. Tinding moment yun ah, with matching serenity of the night, lamp post, yellow light, and background music. I just felt God's holy spirit embraced me and whispered 'I am enough' as I walked home refreshed.
I'm shocked that I'm not sad anymore, and I need an emo song just to get in the right mood. It's a little bit tiring to see you like that again and again. Tonight, I won't think if I still love you or not because you didn't even come close to bringing out that wow in me.
It's a deadlock for us, and it will be a surprise to us if destiny still brings us back together. For you, you don't want to chase after me but you cannot wait. For me, I just want you to wait and I cannot pursue you now, coz right now, I have nothing to offer but singlehood.
I'm free and I don't have to endure her missing me or loving me messages. Thank you my God for opening a way for a new beginning. Tonight I let go of the thought that we'll be us again someday. I'll wait for who God has destined for me... I hope she's eagerly waiting for me too.
Even though I'm free, nothing has changed for me tonight, I'm still single. My officemate is eagerly waiting to see me break my convictions and just say to her, leave him and be my girlfriend just to easily end all of it. But no, God is telling me that I won't be happy with that path and the same thing will happen again.
I love God and that's enough for me, and the world cannot take it away... not even her. Good night for a long time. Crap, now I really need to get her to say goodbye to ma.
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