It taught me a lot, as in A LOT. I can only imagine if this wouldn't have happened to me. My life would still be drifting, drifting away from God. It was a phase of my awakening and spiritual maturity. I remembered more than a year ago when I wrote this blog entry, when my life was going too perfect. It remained that way for so long that my attitude towards the big test has changed! I became afraid because I knew it will be a big one, but I ignored it and said, I'll deal with it later. When the storm came, it shook my foundation and I almost gave-up. But my faith has healed me. I don't want to go back, I don't want even to look back, I might turn into salt! Haha!
To become one with the pattern, one with the world has been huge temptation! I don't want the feeling where I was contented with my drifting life, and was completely prepared to continue living with a so so belief. It felt good but that kind of fire can only last so long, and I knew that deep in me, I was yearning for a godly life because I'm already saved. Passiveness had been my character and it became the reason for my contentment. I passively chose that life that I would have regret and remained contented about it. I praise him for he has molded me, disciplined me, and dealt with my passiveness. In the same way God is molding other people. It may not be passiveness but characteristics that become hindrances to experience the fullness of Him. It could be impulsiveness and being emotional too hehehe. Someone out there may impulsively choose a life that he/she will regret but God has a way to break that.
It's unexpected that this experience became my greatest testimony so far. Lord!!! You gave me the testimony I've always been asking for. I shared this to other people and many were amazed by what happened, surprisingly, many can relate and desired my advice, an advice aligned to God's. Some were doubtful if they could do the same thing. Those who could only imagine said that they wanted to reach the same level of maturity, that they wanted to experience tests. They'll get there, I felt the same way too. So many times that this testimony became an entry point to share the gospel, and I'm excited for more!
I can come out of my shell now and not be afraid to get close with the people around me. I'm not having second thoughts to flaunt God for the fear of they'll just see me as a religious freak. I'll embrace that identity to the world for God even if it means persecution and rejection. I won't remain passive because I love my God above my old identity. This is my revelation, among the many others.
I'm just encouraged by this passage in Hebrews 12:
God Disciplines His Sons
...
4In your struggle against
sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And you
have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
7Endure hardship as
discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his
father? 8If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then
you are illegitimate children and not true sons. 9Moreover, we have all had
human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more
should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! 10Our fathers
disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us
for our good, that we may share in his holiness. 11No discipline seems pleasant
at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of
righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
12Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. 13"Make level
paths for your feet," so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
