I don't know, the more you feel tired, the more it's getting into me. I actually like waiting for you now, and doing stuff for you, but this night the enemy is saying to me that I should be tired and just be like my old self who can't even wait for 15min because you yourself are tired, and tried to wait for me earlier at the podium for 30min and became cranky all night.
Never did i feel tired until now, when the enemy showed to me how tiring everything is, and it's easier to accept now because the night is not lightening up no matter how I tried and prayed, I tried to cheer you up, I treated you for dinner, carried your bag, accompanied you to your laundry, and walked you home. I actually enjoy doing all these with you but to see you low in spirits... I don't know, is it too much for me to expect you to be just a bit happier to be with me? Just be in the old ways of not bothering you because it is what you want, the devil says. It also whispered that your emotions have overthrown your happiness of just seeing me and being with me and it's not enough anymore. That you always try to dig the past whenever this happens and compare.
This is the result of my long walk, my struggle for the night. Good night. Being said, it's clear that this is the enemy drilling through my head.
When I shared this to you, this is your reply.
...With many words comes sin. Bwahahaha. Time to conquer my demons, I love you (name), and I had a good time. It's so nice staring at you again... I can't even begin to imagine the extent of your patience. Hehe. Amen!
...
Umabot pako sa breaking up with u coz ur like d old (name). And then when I got up and saw d lyt, I suddenly like awoke from a tranc. Hay nako =) pesteng enemy yan.
I thank You, my Lord, I don't know if someday she will break-up with me again because I think now for her it's much easier to break-up because she knows me too much and she can just shove all the past (if she hasn't let go of it yet) in my face and get tired of it... she said she was close to breaking up with me.
I am not saddened anymore because I know you are there my God, I put my trust in you and not on men, I won't forget what you have done for me, and won't take it for granted, that's why it's so much easier for me to take care of her now, because I know you gave her, and you gave her back to me. Please give me more patience, as stretched as it may look like, I know there is still room, because sometimes holding on is a hell when the enemy is making you realize all of these, that it's so much easier for her to break-up, I think she already mastered it and it is becoming a quick escape.
