Jealous vs Overjealous

Amazing how God gives you experiences (even those not so good ones) in order to help others who'd be in similar situations. And even though I've already transgressed so much, he continues to weave the inner linings of my life... and I can still feel him, in everyday of my life. Life will never be the same for my eyes have been opened to his grace and I give thanks to him.

We've just conquered another obstacle in our relationship and it's about Jealousy. One very serious matter, and a downfall of many relationships. And although I've not went through hell to overcome this issue, it helped me in my emotional maturity. Like a vaccine, though relatively light in amount and seriousness, it hardens me in order to be prepared for future and more serious attacks.

But right after solving this issue, a friend of mine texted telling me she needs to talk to me urgent. At first I didn't know what it was about so I tried to fish for general information. She said it's about her relationship. I don't want to be spoiled on "herstory" so I ended there. In a way when it comes to relationship problems, I want it to be surprised and personal. So I said I'll meet her at Starbucks after work, but of course I asked permission first from my special someone if it's okay. I don't want this to turn into something messy even though there's no ulterior motive, it can easily be interpreted as something else.

Anyway, so we rendezvoused at the coffee shop and there she poured everything. She didn't care if she cries in front of me, she told me how she loves the person she loves so much but she's being held prisoner (trust me the term is not an overstatement). Droplets of rain on the glass window would've been perfect, but that's just asking too much. Anyway, she told me how over-jealousy consumed their relationship and sometimes she thinks of getting out of the relationship because she can't stand what's happening and already fears it. Fear... I was shocked that fear was included, and I began to dig deeper on the reason and I found out that the person already threatened to kill himself if she leaves him. Talk about serious drama. Dealing with jealousy is hard enough, how much more if the person you're talking with points a kitchen knife... to himself. I became worried for her and for her special someone because of the guy's suicidal tendency. I already finished my cappuccino and my non-work is increasing (was still working, just went out of the office) but she was not finished yet, but it didn't matter because heart-felt stories are always worth listening to the first time around.

I've already applied the vaccine given to me, but her problem does not simply end there. Hope I can do something about it, but that's another blog. Maybe I'll post it someday, my plan for giving a helping hand because as much as I want them to learn and work this problem out on their own, together... i think this is already beyond her hands.

It feels good

There, finally I've said it and it turns out I don't need to cry. Well not in person because she doesn't want to wait and I was already chatting with her. Most of the content was taken from the previous entry and I said "nasasakal na ako", wahehehe, can't believe I really said that and it turned up fine.

Here's the excerpt of the conversation:

Me: Lovee we need to talk, pde ka ba tom?
Something is bothering me
Her: what? naun na lang.
Me: ok lang sau sa chat?
Her: cge go im all ears na
Me: okies
it bothers me that ur negative with almost all women linked to me
Her: haha
malamang
linked nga eh
you crack me up
Me: hindi ganung linked
Her: ahh gets
Me: i mean no malice, friends
ALL
lovee nasasakal ako, I can understand one or two, pero the entire pack?
I'm already freaking out with the thought of losing all my female friends
Her: ayt your call
you wont hear from me ever
end of conversation
Me: lovee I don't mean it that way
Her: its ayt
Me: My hope is that you could trust me and feel safe
because you are the only one I'm in love with
and you are the person I want to marry, no one else
Her: bubu
your cute
you know nman lovee
i tell you these things kasi
gusto ko lang ilet go
hehe
ayos na diba

No more girl friends

It's only a matter of time before all my "girl" friends vanish because my girlfriend gets jealous... to all of them. I feel sad that I need to take precautionary measures just to save the only girl outside our church that is clean from jealousy. These include making sure there should be at least another guy in the photo before I can take a picture with a girl, or I can't be left alone with the girl to talk, and skin must not make contact.

I can understand if she became jealous to one or two of my friends but the entire pack? I'm already freaking out with the thought of losing all my female friends including churchmates and I already miss some of them, really miss them, no malice.

Yes I love her, but I think what's happening is too much.

Wanting to prove something

Is this the season of break-ups? Worse, it's almost always the man who's the culprit, what's happening to the world? And these women are either longing for the right person to come along or decided to give-up their romantic fantasy. Every time I talk to a broken-hearted, I try to give as much hope as I can and tell them it's not the end of the world... but sometimes, this "hope" just gives more pain than good.

Hope helps us to be human, hope to have second chance after we have transgressed or hope to find the right person. Whatever it is, hope brings new purpose. But what if our hopes are constantly crushed, would you rather choose to give up hope and live in a day to day existence? If only I can share more to remove their cynicisms. I want to prove them that there's goodness in men's heart. But I can only go a distance.

I love giving advice when it comes to heart-breaks, dunno maybe because I can relate so much. For my latest talk, I managed to convince her to do the things she loves while waiting for her prince charming. lols.