Ok, I just woke up 3:30AM and I can't sleep anymore. I kept thinking, Lord, why do I feel like I still haven't done something I was supposed to do but I still can. You know that feeling that you haven't done something wrong, but there is this thing you haven't done. The feeling is quite different. I don't feel regret, but I feel that God has given me this perfect timing and I just have follow and do it.
Ah yeah, I forgot that I bought some krispy kreme doughnuts for her. Actually, I didn't buy it for her in the first place, I want to eat it, but I realized that I bought 3 of them out of coincidence and it will be perfect gift but it slipped my mind last night and I haven't given her the donuts. Well beyond the donuts, there is something more, and I believe I have forgotten to give her those donuts for a reason.
Today, i need to tell her something, something I haven't told her for a long time because I was afraid of what she's going to say, but I have nothing left to lose and I have God and I don't want to wait for another week before I realize that I need to tell her this:
(name), I love you and you love me. That guy doesn't love you, well he loves you but he doesn't love you that much because he can't let you go! Please don't stay with him, he'll be okay just like me. Wait for me and I will pursue you, just let God mold us and straighten out our curls for a while. Let's start over and be friends again. You don't have to chase after me anymore, I want and I will pursue you and I'll be there for you and I'm not saying this because I want your favor, but this is what my heart desires.
This is the outburst of my heart now, and I need you my Lord to tell me if my heart is not deceiving me. Why now? I just realized that I really really need to tell her these things and I don't care anymore if she says yes or no, but no questions asked, no what if's, and maybe's but I just have to do this because you told me to my Lord. I guess it's destiny for me.
